This is where I say something profound about myself in third person so it sounds like someone else wrote it. It would be douche-tastic to write profound things about myself, though.
So how about this instead?
I’m a storyteller with a few novels in the world: Joe Vampire and its sequel, Joe Vampire: The Afterlife. They’re kind of the anti-Twilight. I can’t be sorry for that. Joe Vampire: The New Paranormal is the third one, and there’s promise of a forth…yay! There’s a slew of other stuff in the pipe – other novels, a few novellas, a short story collection. I just need to stop Netflixing long enough to finish it all up.
Songs from the Phenomenal Nothing is my first novel for a YA audience. I have another YA in the works, too. Starfire and the Miracle Tree is a sweet, sad tale about coping with loss, written for middle-graders but great for everyone to read.
I’m Viscount, co-founder and co-owner of a super-amazing creativity lab publishing company called Dapper Press. We do all kinds of fun stuff. Check us out.
My story Life Review 2.0 is in Arizona State University’s Canyon Voices. My other story, Keepers, is in there, too…that one has been written into a full-length novel that I’m shopping around to agents now. Wish me luck.
My story Last Shift is available in the anthology Nightfalls. It was nominated for a 2012 Pushcart Prize, which is a pretty big deal for a writer. Proceeds from this book benefit childrens’ charities in Los Angeles.
You can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you see any sweet Groupons, or just want to know what’s going on with the goings-on.
My wife is amazing. My kids make me happy. My friends are the coolest.
La la, how the life goes on…